MST3K 201 - Rocketship X-M
The Movie Synopsis It's 1950 at the White Sands, New Mexico USAF Proving Grounds. A space ship is about to take off for, and land on, the moon, perhaps the first step in establishing the "unassailable base... from which to control world peace".- USA-style world peace. The ship is the fruition of years of effort by two men, avuncular Walt Disney-ish Dr. John Emery and his visionary business partner Robert. Five middle-aged, none-too-fit scientists and military men have been selected as the crew, led by Dr. Emery, who designed the rocket, and pilot Colonel Graham (Lloyd Bridges). After a chalk talk for the press ("Gyros...will keep us right side up throughout the flight", explains Emery, and "We will keep in contact via shortwave radio" - ha ha!), the crew boards the ship via a fifteen-foot ladder. (The Saturn V that powered the first Apollo moon landing was 363 feet high). This particular space ship looks suspiciously like a German V2, except that (we have been informed) it is a stage rocket. Wrong-headed navigation instruments include an artificial horizon and an "airspeed" indicator. On leaving orbit, the expedition is immediately nearly destroyed by slamming into its own jettisoned first stage. The crew encounters the obligatory asteroid swarm / stock footage (they call them "meteors") , the very same one confronted by the Lunar Eagle 1 from "12 to the Moon" and the Pegasus 4 from "The Phantom Planet". Said swarm illuminates the inside of the ship as though an elevated train were passing by just outside and generates the required whooshing noises in the vacuum of space. Instead of course corrections, this rocket makes 90-degree "turns" like a '57 Buick rounding a corner at 60 mph. In this film universe, gravity "falls off gradually to nothing as they get farther out into interplanetary space" (actually its' effect ahould disappear once they attain free-fall in orbit - I looked it up!) and then it only affects certain objects, such as harmonicas and bomber jackets. The crew spends a lot of time gazing in awe out a picture-window-sized porthole while Colonel Graham rambles on interminably about nothing to frosty, defensive-but-beautiful Danish lady-type scientist Dr. Lisa "Ice Queen" Van Horn (Osa Massen). Provincial jet-jockey and feed-lot comedy relief Major Corrigan (Noah Beery, Jr.) can't shut up about how his native Texas is paradise on Earth. It's not his fault. They banned the teaching of higher-order thinking skills in his state. Since they apparently have an almost infinite fuel supply (twice as much as they need, actually, as explained in the chalk talk above), they are able to burn the engines, or "motors" continuously for fourteen hours until they shut down unexpectedly (They wouldn't need to do this because... oh, forget it.). They have conveniently, if implausibly lost radio contact with Earth, so the scientists alter the fuel mixture to an untried formula (risking everyone's life in the process). On ignition, everyone swoons from acceleration, and when they awaken - days later?, they are amazed and delighted to find themselves just 50,000 miles from the planet Mars. How did it happen? Supernatural intervention of course, explains the lead scientist who has learned he has to say things like this to get grants. They elect to land, even though the ship was engineered for the Moon and they discarded their first stage back at Earth. As they execute a manual descent in a manner similar to how one would back a truck up to a loading dock, we note that Mars has a thick cloud cover, thunderstorms and heavy rainfall, all of which was known to be inaccurate at the time. Once on the surface, they all don "breathing equipment" - surplus WW II gas masks that probably would not have been a wise choice for the vacuum of the Moon - and begin a recon. Several of the crew tote large rock pickaxes, but no one bothers to collect any geological samples. They find the radioactive ruins of a once-advanced Martian civilization and are able to deliver, for perhaps the first time in cinematic history, what went on to become a science fiction staple - a warning about the consequences of nuclear Armageddon. The not-so-savvy crew opts to spend the night on Mars - camping out in the open - with no natural shelter, food, water, tents, bedrolls, blankets, fire or iPhones. On awakening, they espy primitively-dressed humans/Martians observing them from afar. They tactlessly race up a mountain en masse to confront them and are promptly and deservedly attacked. The Earth dinks then flee, and in the process Major Corrigan and Dr. Eckstrom are slain and the navigator injured. The survivors immediately take off for Earth. Although their accidental arrival at Mars was achieved only by virtue of the most improbable of coincidences and/or the hand of God, somehow they get back to the vicinity of Earth just as fast. Alas, as they approach Earth they discover - at the very last minute - the fuel supply has been exhausted. The ship crashes, killing everyone, although for accuracy's sake they should have burned on re-entry instead. Before they meet their doom, however, Colonel Graham and Dr. Van Horn bond romantically and share an imaginary lifetime together, proactively reminiscing about all the good times they never had. Maybe they even joined the Mile High Club, who knows? Eckstrom's business partner, Robert, appears emotionally crushed by the loss, but is able to put a positive spin on the whole thing. Hugh O’Brian rounds out the cast. Information While producer George Pal was diligently working on his production of “Destination Moon,” spending well over half a million dollars, working with scientists and space travel experts and generating tons of advance promotion, Robert L. Lippert figured he could quickly produce a similar film, taking advantage of Pal's expensive publicity. Ironically, "Rocketship X-M” is widely considered to be a much better movie than “Destination Moon”, perhaps in part due to the heavy-handed and absolutely insufferable comedy relief inserted by the studio suits into that film. The Episode Host Segments Prologue: The SOL's newly designed bridge is revealed as Joel is working on his robot buddies – Crow has a toothache and Tom's voice is undergoing renovation. Invention Exchange (Segment One): Tom Servo's new voice is revealed (with tribute/riffs to Lost in Space and 2001)! In Deep 13, Dr. F's new assistant TV's Frank is introduced (because Dr.Erhardt is missing). Joel's invention is the BGC-19, a mobile drum kit. In Deep 13, Frank is responsible for the Mads' invention which is also the BGC-19. Dr. F proceeds to punish Frank. The BGC-19 bears a striking resemblance to Ellen Ripley's cargo loader in Aliens Segment Two: Joel and the Bots salute the unsung heroes: the Reporters of Rocketship X-M, and yes, each reporter is furnished with a silly name. Segment Three: Joel is lecturing the ‘Bots on the topic of Selective Gravity and quizzes them on which objects are funny or not funny under the influence of Selective Gravity. Segment Four: Joel and the Bots are feeling a little lost in thought, quoting many songs and famous authors, when they are visited by Valeria from the season one episode Robot Holocaust (played by Michael J. Nelson) on the Hexfield Viewscreen. Segment Five: Joel and the Bots scold the Mads on the inappropriateness of the movies subject. Dr. F shows Frank how to “Push the Button”. Obscure References *Joel asks Cambot for Rocket Number 9 for the first time. "Rocket Number Nine" is the title of a song by experimental jazz musician Sun Ra from his 1972 album Space Is the Place. *''"Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down, that's not my department."'' From a 1965 comedy record by Tom Lehrer, "Wernher von Braun", That Was the Year That Was. *''"Hello Cleveland!"'' A line from a scene in the movie, Spinal Tap. *Joel and the Bots remark that two scientists in the film are Siegfried & Roy. * "Oh look, it looks like an Al Jaffee Mad Magazine fold in." Joel commenting on a part of the spaceship. *''"Call me Cobra."'' A series by Dan Harmon and Jeff Davis, featuring Drew Carey. *Joel and the Bots say goodnight to all of the astronauts, reminiscent of the American children's book Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown. * "Why don't you just show us ''Marooned?"'' Marooned is an Oscar-winning (for visual effects) 1969 film about a disastrous space expedition. Forrester replied to Joel with "We couldn't get it!"; Marooned turned up on MST3K two years after this episode, with the Film Ventures International treatment under the title Space Travelers. Category:MST3K Episodes Category:Season 2